Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Do you Believe in Ghosts, ESP, or the Paranormal?

 

As a child I had a number of 'invisible' experiences that were bewildering to me. The experiences were varied in that I either felt a presence in a physical space to which I had entered, or a preminition of some future event. My recollections of these experiences are with mixed feelings because I was often faced with ridicule from my family whenever I would vocalize one of the events. I learned to not talk about them with anyone, and prayed that these things would stop presenting themselves to me. As I progressed through my teen years, the experiences lessened and I was grateful. It was not until the death of my maternal Great Aunt, Iva, did I dare to speak again of such things. I did not know my Great Aunt Iva all that well. I saw her a couple of times a year at family gatherings and recall her as an old, small, quiet woman who smoked. Aunt Iva was quite frail and suffering ill health when we received the call late one night. My mother and I were watching a movie together when the telephone rang. I immediately knew that something had happened to Aunt Iva and told my mother so, as she reached for the phone. Once again that sense of knowing was there, and I was doubly sad for its return and the passing of my Great Aunt. As the family continued to grieve the loss of our Great Aunt, I broached the topic of premonitions with my Great Uncle, Scott. He began to tell me of his own experiences with precognition. Interestingly, he and I are/were the only left handed people among several hundred right handed relatives.

Precognition
As I mentioned above, when the phone rang I instantly KNEW what the call was about. I had a quiet "feeling" about my Aunt all day, but did not voice it until the call. My other experiences of premonitions or precognition were much more traumatic. I was powerless to prevent any of the events that I sensed from occurring  so what was the point it having such visions? I fervently prayed for these premonitions to cease, and they eventually stopped before my 20th birthday. As an after thought from a childhood of visions, I've made it a life long practice to be aware of my surroundings and "listen" to my gut.

Paranormal Activity
I have never seen a ghost, but I have definitely experienced a number of "ghosts" or "a presence." My earliest recognition of a "presence" was a feeling that I would experience often upon entering a house for the first time. The experience of that presence was like a quiet whisper or a butterfly fluttering close by. I do not recall experiencing malevolent spirits per se, but I do recall a mischievous civil war era ghost whom I named "George" and negative karma in a house that I once occupied. Many years ago, my husband and I lived in a house at the top of a hill in Northern Virginia. The house is situated on the top of a hill, 365 feet above the historically protected byway known as Georgetown Pike. The house was the third to occupy the land. The original farm house burned down, followed by another house that burned down, until the current structure which was built in the late 1970's. The house is the traditional Virginian brick colonial architecture found so prevalent throughout the Commonwealth. My husband lived in the house for years before I came to occupy it. The following is a retelling of some of the paranormal experiences I had living there. The first time I entered the house on Georgetown Pike, I did not feel that the house was a bright and cheery place. I have a strong belief that events that occur within four walls often leave behind traces of those events. For me the easiest explanation is that houses often have karma, good or bad. This house's karma wasn't evil, but there was definitely something not quite "normal." The house belonged to my second husband and he raised his five children there. I was the second wife who would later come to rid the house of it's negative residue. Besides the house karma, I was to also encounter another surprise related to the house, a ghost -- whom we named "George." My husband's children regaled me with stories of explainable noises and objects moving of their own volition. I just assumed they were stories to scare me, "the step mother. " Although I never saw George, he made his presence known on a regular basis. We ran our businesses out of our basement offices and many times throughout the day I would hear cabinet doors slam, and feet stomp loudly across the rooms upstairs. Occasionally, I would lose my temper and yell, "Damn it George, knock it off!! I'm trying to get some work done down here!" One night my husband awoke to see George at the foot of the bed. He yelled at George, through a pillow at (through) him and then went back to sleep. I had a plan to get rid of George once and for all.

 In with the Positive and Out with the Negative
Often the presence of a lingering spirit is due to some unrest or unresolved issue. I believed that George's presence and the negative karma in the house were potentially related, and decided that if I started to change the house's karma, George would one day be at peace and no longer present himself. So for the next couple of years, I continued to fill the house with positive events that evoked the love and laughter of a family - and a little singing and dancing too! George's visits became quieter and more infrequent, and then one day it occurred to my husband and I that George was finally at rest.

Monday, July 23, 2012

Humor: When a Bug Flies into your Dress

Note to Self

1. Second thoughts on wearing dress with flower pattern. Driving convertible to work can result in bug flying down your dress!!

2. Reaching down your dress while driving (in an attempt to remove bug) can result in bug working it's way down to THE waist!

ASIDE: Arrival at office resulted in a quick parking of the car, jumping out and doing an 'interesting' dance to extricate the bug from my mid-section INSIDE of my dress.

The security guards wondered why I was 'dancing' in the parking lot. Maybe they thought I was HAPPY to be at work!!!!

PS If it HAD been a bee, you would have read about the 5 car pile up on Route 7...

Monday, October 10, 2011

At the Barre: Motion to Music

The music for movement in my studio is as varied as my mood. As many choreographers and dancers will tell you, virtually any piece of music can be used to express through dance, think of Balanchine's genius as a perfect example.

Whether Adagio or Allegra, the choices of my music are on a wide spectrum. Think about the great fun you can have with turns and leaps to Michael Jackson's 'Invincible'.

I also adore Christina Aguilera and it evokes very strong emotions in me. I used one of her songs for a simple dance video of me doing careful pointe after three months rehabilitation recovering from a hip flexor injury, but due to possible copyright problems I cannot share the original here.

So my recommendation is you dance for yourself, whenever and wherever your heart takes you.

Photobucket
Impromptu barre - Virginia Beach - May 2011

Balance of Adult and Inner Child: Crying as a stress reliever

When Do You Cry?

I cry when it means something. I don't understand, emotion consumes me, so sad my heart aches, or so happy my heart sings.

My husband and male friends feel perplexed when I suddenly cry and within mere moments I stop. For me, it's like a teapot that's reached a boiling point and spews to release the pressure and within a short time I'm balanced again.

Crying is a venting mechanism for stress that helps me keep a balance between my inner child and my adult self.

Of course, crying can be for other reasons and I'm not making generalizations for all, just sharing my most common reason.

The point? We all need to find ways to de-stress so there's a balance of our adult self and inner child.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Only You Control Your Happiness

Oh yes, there are many cliches we could share such as: 1) you have to be a friend to make a friend, 2) you have to love yourself in order to really know how to love another, 3) no man is an island, 4) others don't make you unhappy, you choose to be unhappy.

I think more accurately the wisdom that I have acquired at this late age (50+) I wish to share with my younger friends, colleagues, children and grand children is:



The driving force for this epiphany is the very real possibly of a young, insecure, unhappy, depression-prone young person that I see going down a dark spiral and I cannot FIX what is broken. :(

You Are in Control of Your Own Life
Passively waiting for life to happen to you, or that one other thing that you wish would happen, just one more thing....and you'll be happy.

I believe that a LOT of what life has in store for a person is based STRONGLY on ones own fortitude. If you want to be a rock star, then do what it takes to try your best to be a rock star. Of course, one can want to be a rock star, but might not have the talent to warrant the wish, but that's not the point... It's important to TRY and put EFFORT into making a life that you want, even if YOU fail at least you TRIED (many millionaires fail before they became millionaires).

Isn't a life alone half lived? Don't be filled with regrets of woulda, shoulda, coulda. You don't have to be one of the them. In fact, along the way you will be amazed at the experiences that you gain from the adventures you have in developing your full personhood. It's a journey of discover that should be lifelong with endless possibilities. A clean page to start anew EVERY DAY!!

You Are the Reason You Are Sad

This reminds me of a conversation I had when I was in my early 20's with my boyfriend at the time who was in his mid-30's. He told me with an air of superiority that there isn't just ONE person out there for a single person. In fact, he went on to say that one could really be happy with anyone. Take it one step further, others do not make you sad, YOU make YOU sad (or happy or angry or whatever). Well, I didn't agree with the 'you can be with anyone' theory, but I now do understand what he meant about others not being responsible for your happiness or lack thereof.

Living a Life in Pieces: The Inner Child Struggling with the Troubled Adult-Self

Excerpt from my autobiography as an adult survivor of child abuse.

It happens quietly inside where no one can see it, yes silently. Over time the wholeness cracks and separate pieces become more and more noticeable. The attempts at band-aids work for a while and then fail, requiring an alternate repair. Meanwhile life goes on...

As a 50 year old patched together woman, I have quiet little wishes and plans for my future that I fear may not occur. Those little wishes and plans held me together and provided me hope and a focus through the depression of Winter. This Winter in particular was bad for me on many levels and my mental anguish at times was acute to the point of wishing it could be dulled in a flash.

Funny thing about being an adult. We all go through life acting normal, trying to be normal (whatever normal is). However, I never felt like I was 'normal'. Me as a wallflower was a protective mechanism to blend into the walls, to avoid attention. Attention meant the very real possibility of abuse. I am an adult survivor of abuse, and I have spent a life trying to piece together a whole person that felt worthy enough (to myself) to warrant life. I learned to cry quietly where no one could hear, 'Silent Tears.'

Fast forward to my life as an adult and I feel like my life has not been entirely of my own making. So yeah, life stressors can lead to depression. If one is prone to depression (Winter doesn't help) and you add LOTS of different stressors, BAM!!!!! I acknowledge that I have not fully recovered from the death of my mother five years ago, nor the loss of my mother-in-law five years ago. The result of both severing my only female confidants. Once that resource is gone, life becomes an empty void with no close female support mechanisms. ASIDE: numerous attempts to build and nurture female relationships in hopes of re-connecting with another female for a symbiotic/supportive relationship has failed.

At this moment I stand on a precipice, ready to step off the edge.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Make-Believe: Embracing Your Inner Child

I have not written a blog entry in a while, but I just got inspired by an article on Make-Believe that my husband clipped and put on my desk. Google is my friend, so of course I ‘googled’ make believe and among the responses I got back from my query (including music bands and dancewear in Jacksonville) I got ZILCH… Seriously! Google doesn’t advocate ‘Make-Believe?’ Well, I’m not going to sit here sifting through pages and pages of non-make-believe data to find that embrace-your-inner-child moment. So…


Defining ‘Make-Believe’

Make-believe to me is using ones imagination to create, so we look at ‘imagination’ to help us in the use of ‘Make-believe.’ Using ones imagination or creating a ‘Make-Believe’ scenario is a creative or artistic expression where we use our minds to create in a freer/less-restraining environment. However, societal norms, conventions, and morays do limit most of the outward use of imagination so as not to appear non-conformist or even mentally unstable.

Albert Einstein said, "Imagination ... is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited and the imagination encircles the world."


Woah, what happened?! I was thinking of writing a light-hearted piece on make-believe or using ones imagination and I ended up down this cerebral path that’s positively KILLING my original inspiration!!! So back on track.

Jani Taylor’s piece "About Make-Believe" speaks to me because she remind us of the need for those precious moments when we get to escape the mundane, serious world (often with our children) and fuel our imaginations. As Ms. Taylor states,
“the world of make believe isn’t so much about escape as about renewal and healing.”
I agree wholeheartedly with this statement, and I believe that in a world that is often too serious and often violent adults need heal from the world of adulthood that does take its toll on our hearts, minds, and even our souls. Many (myself included) seek moments of escape wherever our interests take us.


How to Practice Make-Believe Moments

The easiest way to have those wonderful childlike, healing moments is in the company of a child. If you are lucky enough to be able to occasionally embrace yourself in a world where time stands still and you engage a different part of yourself, the results are glorious and a balm. At first you might have a sobering pause when you get off that swing in the playground and the reality that you hadn’t done that in years hits you. On a personal note, becoming a parent or grandparent also provides us with opportunities to tune our perspective and experience life through the eyes of a child.

-A feel good movie
-Put on a puppet show
-Sing Christmas songs anytime you want (Summer too)
-Sing like a rock star (shower or car)
-Enjoy your Christmas tree 365 days of the year
-Silly moments with friends or loved ones (charades anyone?)
-Reading or playing with a child
-Coloring (VERY therapeutic)
-Reading any work of fiction that fires the imagination
-Writing stories (or a blog…ha, ha, ha)

The possibilities are endless. Just good clean fun, and an opportunity to embrace our inner child. Go play!

Postscript: Hubby and I have been writing a children's trilogy together, and hope someday to have it published.